Hey cyclist who thinks that, just because she's not operating a car, things like traffic lights do not apply to her. Shouldn't it have occurred to you that the nature of the very means of transportation that apparently justifies your exceptionality is also what makes it very probable that, should you encounter one of those larger, heavier metal objects in the wrong sort of way as a result of your inability to follow traffic laws, it's you who will end up dead?
When you use a shared or public toilet, do you enjoy forcing your hand up into the toilet paper dispenser to fish out the end of the roll because some asshole who was in there before you carlessly tugged the paper from the bottom, causing it to break off from up inside the dispenser? Assuming the answer is no, why do you leave it that way for other people?
Do you think you're adept at walking and texting at the same time? Because you're not.
If you're walking along the sidewalk (pavement) abreast with two or more people, and I'm walking toward you, it's incumbent upon one or more of you to move out of my way by tucking behind one another in single file. Why? Because we both have the same right to the shared space, whereas you and your friends have no right to monopolize it by walking side-by-side. I understand that sometimes, unthinkingly, you expect me to step out into the road to get hit by a cyclist so you can all pass by. And that's why, when I didn't move, you ran into my shoulder, winced, and thought I was the one being an asshole.
If you don't satisfy any of the following conditions, you have no business wearing a New York Yankees hat: 1) You live or lived in the Bronx. 2) Your friend, partner, spouse, or family member plays or played for the Yankees. 3) You play or played for the Yankees.
Have you noticed how academics, you know, sort of, come up with our own sort of verbal fillers to replace 'like' and 'um,' which we roundly despise in the speech of others?
I don't like cake. For the love of god, stop offering me cake.
Double-wide baby strollers should be illegal. People who carelessly thrust their single-infant-occupied strollers out in front of you as a way of forcing themselves through a crowd are obnoxious enough; the double-stroller pushers should be shamed off the sidewalk (pavement) and relegated to the cycle lane until we can pass due legislation, an international ban.
If you accuse me of spending my time 'figuring out what the author menas,' I write you off as an idiot then and there.
If you represent a corporation or a society of people interested in joining or representing corporations, don't ask me for favors. Ever. Once I asked my boss if I could, like, have something for nothing, and she said that's not how corporations work. Well, that's not how I work either.
Too many people go around feeling smug about all they do to save and improve lives. Too few of them have ever stopped to think about what makes lives worth saving and improving.
